Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Sometimes, perhaps it's best we don't always hear how things turned out. We can wonder, hope, and dream, but if the story has an unhappy ending or has entered a very sad chapter, do we really want to know? I've been pondering that since hearing an update this morning on facebook.

Facebook can be very useful in keeping in touch with people. Yes, it can also be a timewaster, as i've mentioned before, but i found it a very useful tool during Hurricane Sandy, for instance, where people could provide updates or friends of theirs could say, "So and so doesn't have power just now, but is otherwise all right." I've also found that for things like reunions, it's incredibly handy.

I've a high school reunion coming up next year, and the wonderful co-ordinator who shouldered the last one is doing this one as well. She's expanded it to include the class year immediately ahead of us and the one the year before that, which was my brother's class. I'm especially happy about the latter, as we moved away after my brother graduated high school, and i ended up graduating someplace else, which never felt like home. I looked through my yearbook from that year and made a mental note of those i hoped would attend, as it'd be nice to catch up with them. I haven't seen a lot of those kids in my brother's class since their graduation, although a few contacted me when Bill died to say how sorry they were. But, his funeral was nearer his home and out-of-state, around the holidays, and during winter, so travelling for the service was a bit challenging.

The reunion co-ordinator is happy to include anyone who went through our school system, even if they moved away before graduation, which is why i'm included on the guest list. Given that i attended kindergarten with some of these folks and knew them up until i moved away, i feel much more kinship with this school than the one from which i graduated.

On a facebook thread, I heard bad news about a boy in my brother's class, and the man who was telling it clearly held him contemptible. A number of us who were shocked to hear this expressed our sorrow, and the messenger was very quick to judge and condemn him, and chide us for seeming to take this slimeball's side. I responded that the messenger was enough younger that he only knew the man from this incident he reported. Those of us who were older could remember when this man was a schoolboy, and if like me, had lost touch with many classmates, had a hard time piecing together that boy they knew in high school with the "slimeball" now presented to us.

For this reunion, the co-ordinator is using facebook as a way of updating people about the event. The date has been changed once, and the location moved to one that could accommodate more people. Now, we need to see if Hurricane Sandy has rendered our venue unuseable, and if so, what other options will be available.

A few new people have responded to the reunion request, one of them being a man who was a year ahead of me in school. He was one of five brothers who lived very near another family with five boys. I briefly dated one of the older boys in this latter family, but before i dated Michael, i'd had a mad crush on P in the other family. P was in my brother's class, and for much of my sophomore (Grade 10) year, my heart seemingly skipped a beat whenever i saw him. I was invisible to him, of course, being younger, and my brother and he, although in one class together, were worlds apart socially. P naturally grouped me with my brother, thus showed no interest.

Yes, i must confess, i wondered if he and his goodlooking friend Art would be at the reunion. Art melted many hearts and was more gregarious than P. Both could be termed as bad boys, i suppose, although Art could charm his way out of just about anything and was quite popular.

And so, my heart raced just a little when i saw P's brother add to the reunion discussion. He'd love to attend, was sick the last time we had one and will try to help in contacting others as he didn't move far from our hometown. The co-ordinator asked for P's email address so that she could invite him as well, and in a succinct sentence, his brother said that wasn't possible as they'd completely lost touch with him because of life decisions P had made. He alluded to what they were, which i won't repeat out of respect to the family, but it made my blood run cold. The five brothers had been rather close, and i'm sure this was heartbreaking for them.

I wondered what events in his life made him choose the path he now walks and realized that if it makes me sad to hear where he is now, perhaps it's best i don't know all the details.

So, there'll be two who though they may walk among us, are lost to us and won't attend. There are a few who have since died, although given the amount of partying that went on, i'm frankly surprised more of us aren't pushing up daisies.


  1. a while ago, I made the mistake of challenging on line (albeit originally in a humorous way) a old school acquaintance who bullied me
    ith disastrous results

  2. I admit that I am no fan of facebook. My sisters all seem to live for it, but I honestly don't get the hoopla. Mostly, it seems like inane news about people being sad because it is a cloudy day and whatnot.

    I don't think I'll ever facebook or tweet.

  3. I use Facebook exclusively for family and VERY close friends. All other requests are ignored.

    I miss going to old school reunions. Ours are always held in wonderful venues, but taking a few days off just to fly back to the UK for dinner is out of the question. Shame!

  4. I was dragged into using Facebook by one fife and drum friend who kept badgering a bunch of us to join, as it would be a great way to stay in touch. I held off for about a year then caved.

    I don't post anything on fb i wouldn't want to see misquoted in the paper and use other media to stay in touch with family and close friends.

    I joined a fb group comprising people from my hometown, and it's been a hoot reconnecting with some of those people. Some are kind enough to share old photographs of beloved places or class pictures. If any of us hear of a beloved teacher who died, we post the obituary so others can know, too.

    So i have to say for the hometown group and for the reunion, Facebook has been great for me. I rarely talk to my fife and drum friends using it, but i think that stems more from i play music with most of those people moreso than chat with them.